LifeCell... what the hell?

Well (and that makes a double rhyme :)), you'll excuse my language, but that's what I keep thinking after having browsed around looking for information about "anti-aging" creams, and a certain product in particular...

After sifting through the usual irritatingly prolific (and still proliferating!) batch of links for anti-wrinkle creams - which is NOT what I am looking for, I am interested in anti-sagging products - weariness finally got the best of me, and I clicked on a link just to give my eyes a rest...

And there it was.
The WONDER cream!
The Holy Grail of anti-wrinkle creams!

I don't have wrinkles - certainly not in my opinion - but I do have a relative or two who would be very interested in such a product, so I kept reading...

Wow, I thought... This must be really something!
And in order to determine just what it would be, I kept on searching and clicking.

But it just kept looking more and more promising: blog after blog - all personal blogs, and we all know that personal blogs are the last outpost, the last virtual sanctuary of innocence and integrity, right...? - all vouching for the wonderful qualities of said cream. (Or serum - whatever.)

It's not that I don't believe in "wonders" of any kind.
I do.

(In fact, I've seen quite a few happen in my own kitchen. A few years ago, I managed to mix up a home-made skin preparation that worked miraculously - there is no other way of putting it. Unfortunately, the second time around, the recipe - which had been improvised - didn't work... Oh yeah. Love it when that happens...)

So, yes, I do believe in wonders - even in "wonder creams".

But something in the tone of all those blogs didn't sound right.
They were very well written, with just the right amount of "subjectivity"...

And then, I found a website that purportedly featured "independent reviews".
Same story: not many reviews, but those that were there were positively glowing... except one.

Aha! I thought, and avidly read on.

The cream and its marketing is all a scam, said the reviewer.
And yet, there was something just a tiny bit obfuscating about that review itself: not enough data to support the negative claims, so I wasn't readily convinced...
Google-search for "scam" (+ the name of the cream, of course), it said.

OK, I thought, and I did.

And what do you know... The very first result on the first results page had this title:

NAME-OF-CREAM WARNING
(Aha! I thought again, very happy with my own pre-shopping sagacity...)

and the first line under that title, visible on the Google results page, said this:

Don't get NAME-OF-CREAM before you read this review.


Goody! Let's read then!, I thought, and I clicked on the link.

Without further-ado - no word of warning, no scams even mentioned on the page itself! - the "warning" review proceeded to sing the praises of said cream and list it as the number 1, the best, the bestest...
So did the comments in apparent response to the review.

Now you tell me: don't you find it odd that a search on "NAME-OF-CREAM scam" would bring up a seemingly independent non-commercial website with no actual mention of any of the search terms in it?
Why exactly would a independent non-commercial website try to lure visitors by including keywords as "scam" or "warning" - when its content does nothing but shower praise on the product?

I am sure it's a fine cream. But I don't have wrinkles anyway.
And if I stay away from the murky waters of the internet where so many prey on the abyss of human good faith, I might delay their appearance for another ten years or so...


P.S.

If you think this might be yet another angle to the same scam, I must say that you're very perceptive and intelligent, and I predict you'll go far.

But it's not.

However, if you work for the product's makers or marketers and are seeking yet another propaganda outlet, I am open to offers... Just send me the right amount: of the cream and of the $$. ;)
I will definitely give it a try, and I might even consider plugging it here.

But I might as well tell you right now that I will be openly admitting to marketing it.

And then, there was silence... :)

"I loved Marilyn, and she had cellulite... and then I ran away"

The Italian newspaper La Reppublica published an interview with the Neapolitan veteran actor Carlo Croccolo a few days ago. What makes this particular piece apparently so interesting to many, is the fact that he revealed a purported affair with Marilyn Monroe, back in 1961. And that she had cellulite.

We had actually something else in mind for today, but we decided to heed the mounting pressure of those poor souls who are willing to stoop as low as to engage the services of Babel Fish (!!!) in order to decrypt the rather paltry offering. So, here is an exclusive translation. (Well, actually it's published somewhere else, too - but never mind...)

"I loved Marilyn Monroe
and then ran away"

(Doesn't that qualify as "Hit and Run"...?)

»Yes, unfortunately it's true. Marilyn and I had a love affair. ['Storia d'amore' in this context doesn't really translate to 'love story' - unless you insist...] It lasted only three months, but I was madly in love with her. Only, being with her was hell, so in the end I ran away.«

This revelation comes from Carlo Croccolo, 81, a veteran with a very long film and stage career behind him.

[SNIP: information of secondary interest for this story.]

»I met Norma [...] in what was the worst period of her life; she died about a year later, in 1962. She had just come out of a sanatorium and was fighting a bad depression that had come over her after her affair with Yves Montand ended. He had been beastly to her and she had suffered a lot, just as it happened with Arthur Miller, her third husband, a bastard who treated her badly and beat her. I met her at a party in LA, through Sammy Davis and President JFK's entourage. We started to talk and... That's how it started, like so many stories do.«

The actor has also revealed a detail that may undermine [MM's] image:

»Marilyn was stupendous, even though she had a bit of cellulite. When we started [going out together], Norma was already taking 'uppers' and drinking. And her body had started to show it. All the time we were together I did everything I could to make her stop. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed. Certainly, it wasn't easy to be the ever-obliging knight, not even with a woman as extraordinary as she, but there was no other way of being around Norma. You had to take anything, accept anything she did, even if, drunk, she met somebody else and took off with him for a few days. I accepted it, until one day I could take it no more and ran away.«



There.
Happy now?