LifeCell... what the hell?

Well (and that makes a double rhyme :)), you'll excuse my language, but that's what I keep thinking after having browsed around looking for information about "anti-aging" creams, and a certain product in particular...

After sifting through the usual irritatingly prolific (and still proliferating!) batch of links for anti-wrinkle creams - which is NOT what I am looking for, I am interested in anti-sagging products - weariness finally got the best of me, and I clicked on a link just to give my eyes a rest...

And there it was.
The WONDER cream!
The Holy Grail of anti-wrinkle creams!

I don't have wrinkles - certainly not in my opinion - but I do have a relative or two who would be very interested in such a product, so I kept reading...

Wow, I thought... This must be really something!
And in order to determine just what it would be, I kept on searching and clicking.

But it just kept looking more and more promising: blog after blog - all personal blogs, and we all know that personal blogs are the last outpost, the last virtual sanctuary of innocence and integrity, right...? - all vouching for the wonderful qualities of said cream. (Or serum - whatever.)

It's not that I don't believe in "wonders" of any kind.
I do.

(In fact, I've seen quite a few happen in my own kitchen. A few years ago, I managed to mix up a home-made skin preparation that worked miraculously - there is no other way of putting it. Unfortunately, the second time around, the recipe - which had been improvised - didn't work... Oh yeah. Love it when that happens...)

So, yes, I do believe in wonders - even in "wonder creams".

But something in the tone of all those blogs didn't sound right.
They were very well written, with just the right amount of "subjectivity"...

And then, I found a website that purportedly featured "independent reviews".
Same story: not many reviews, but those that were there were positively glowing... except one.

Aha! I thought, and avidly read on.

The cream and its marketing is all a scam, said the reviewer.
And yet, there was something just a tiny bit obfuscating about that review itself: not enough data to support the negative claims, so I wasn't readily convinced...
Google-search for "scam" (+ the name of the cream, of course), it said.

OK, I thought, and I did.

And what do you know... The very first result on the first results page had this title:

NAME-OF-CREAM WARNING
(Aha! I thought again, very happy with my own pre-shopping sagacity...)

and the first line under that title, visible on the Google results page, said this:

Don't get NAME-OF-CREAM before you read this review.


Goody! Let's read then!, I thought, and I clicked on the link.

Without further-ado - no word of warning, no scams even mentioned on the page itself! - the "warning" review proceeded to sing the praises of said cream and list it as the number 1, the best, the bestest...
So did the comments in apparent response to the review.

Now you tell me: don't you find it odd that a search on "NAME-OF-CREAM scam" would bring up a seemingly independent non-commercial website with no actual mention of any of the search terms in it?
Why exactly would a independent non-commercial website try to lure visitors by including keywords as "scam" or "warning" - when its content does nothing but shower praise on the product?

I am sure it's a fine cream. But I don't have wrinkles anyway.
And if I stay away from the murky waters of the internet where so many prey on the abyss of human good faith, I might delay their appearance for another ten years or so...


P.S.

If you think this might be yet another angle to the same scam, I must say that you're very perceptive and intelligent, and I predict you'll go far.

But it's not.

However, if you work for the product's makers or marketers and are seeking yet another propaganda outlet, I am open to offers... Just send me the right amount: of the cream and of the $$. ;)
I will definitely give it a try, and I might even consider plugging it here.

But I might as well tell you right now that I will be openly admitting to marketing it.

And then, there was silence... :)

"I loved Marilyn, and she had cellulite... and then I ran away"

The Italian newspaper La Reppublica published an interview with the Neapolitan veteran actor Carlo Croccolo a few days ago. What makes this particular piece apparently so interesting to many, is the fact that he revealed a purported affair with Marilyn Monroe, back in 1961. And that she had cellulite.

We had actually something else in mind for today, but we decided to heed the mounting pressure of those poor souls who are willing to stoop as low as to engage the services of Babel Fish (!!!) in order to decrypt the rather paltry offering. So, here is an exclusive translation. (Well, actually it's published somewhere else, too - but never mind...)

"I loved Marilyn Monroe
and then ran away"

(Doesn't that qualify as "Hit and Run"...?)

»Yes, unfortunately it's true. Marilyn and I had a love affair. ['Storia d'amore' in this context doesn't really translate to 'love story' - unless you insist...] It lasted only three months, but I was madly in love with her. Only, being with her was hell, so in the end I ran away.«

This revelation comes from Carlo Croccolo, 81, a veteran with a very long film and stage career behind him.

[SNIP: information of secondary interest for this story.]

»I met Norma [...] in what was the worst period of her life; she died about a year later, in 1962. She had just come out of a sanatorium and was fighting a bad depression that had come over her after her affair with Yves Montand ended. He had been beastly to her and she had suffered a lot, just as it happened with Arthur Miller, her third husband, a bastard who treated her badly and beat her. I met her at a party in LA, through Sammy Davis and President JFK's entourage. We started to talk and... That's how it started, like so many stories do.«

The actor has also revealed a detail that may undermine [MM's] image:

»Marilyn was stupendous, even though she had a bit of cellulite. When we started [going out together], Norma was already taking 'uppers' and drinking. And her body had started to show it. All the time we were together I did everything I could to make her stop. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed. Certainly, it wasn't easy to be the ever-obliging knight, not even with a woman as extraordinary as she, but there was no other way of being around Norma. You had to take anything, accept anything she did, even if, drunk, she met somebody else and took off with him for a few days. I accepted it, until one day I could take it no more and ran away.«



There.
Happy now?

Got a Question?

That's a question you'll be asked A LOT if you visit this or any of our other currently visible semi-occasional-blogs - and yes, we do have some which are currently invisible: think of us as the Stealth (Sex)Bomber Squadron. ;)

God... It's difficult enough to coordinate the time and mind frequencies of a single blogger - let alone plan a conjunct action by a "posy" of wildly brainstorming furies! That - and the small matter of our, ahem, very exciting transcontinental private lives - explains why we blog once in a blue moon...

But, since that is unlikely to change in the very near future, we thought it'd be a good idea to kick-start our multitasking service (more on that later) by setting up a website dedicated to answering questions: all kinds of questions (except anything that has to do with math or math-related subjects).

The website is not quite ready to go (and it won't be very fancy anyway). We will let you know when it is. But in the meantime, you can ask your question from right here.

Write to this address:

Myosotis.infoATgmail.com

and within 24 hours we will either send you our answer - or let you you know if it is above us (and advise you on the range of possible solutions)

We would prefer questions regarding everyday life, personal growth, health, beauty and style (one of our pet subjects), interpersonal relations, internet and/or communication skills (another pet subject), art (including connoisseurship*), philosophy, theology, literature, history, perfumes, archaeology, aromatherapy, alternative therapies, old Hollywood (we are not too crazy about the "new" one), WW I or II, the fine art of traveling, "manifesting", the Titanic... you name it. But in reality, ANY question - unless it deals with illegal activities - will be perfectly welcome.

REMEMBER?
WE WANT TO BE YOUR ONE-STOP FRIEND.

With that in mind, we believe there are no "trivial" questions: if it's bugging you, it deserves an answer. And we're willing and happy to give your question all the consideration it needs.
If a question is clearly above us, we will let you know within 24 hours.

* The first answer is free (no strings attached, although it may be - maybe not - less than exhaustive if the question addresses a complicated subject or situation);

* The second one (if there is one), YOU will decide how much is it worth to you; just drop it in our tip jar (Paypal). We don't keep count of who gave what or how much - and our treatment of people certainly doesn't depend on the amount donated.

* The third answer will have a set price: from 15 $ up to 50 $, depending on the subject or situation. (We will let you know the price BEFORE we answer, after we'd evaluated the implications of the question.)

SIMPLE follow-up questions (following a paid reply) will be free of charge, or the payment may be left to your discretion, depending on the case.

(Oh and by the way: if your question falls in the category best summarised as "hiya there, how are you doing?", we don't charge for our reply - EVER. :))

For that price range you will be getting a HIGHLY personalised, tailor-made advice - including information that you are unlikely to find anywhere else.

(But this depends strictly on the type of question. For example, we know rather simple and inexpensive beauty "tricks" that we haven't seen anywhere else on the web - although we did commit the mistake of sharing a major secret or two free of charge... We simply don't dare googling for it, to see whether someone has been marketing it - and our goodwill - for cash. Anger and disappointment are poison, which is why we avoid them.)

We will also be offering personalised permanent guidance(usually called "coaching").
But more on that in the future.

Certainly our answers, even at this stage, will be highly personalised, one-on-one.
Which is why we consider the current price range a truly exceptional bargain.
You will be addressing us as Myosotis - but if you knew what exactly (in terms of quality) you are getting for your money, you would never believe it.

(You see, contrary to popular belief, not only "losers" hang around the WWW. After all... YOU are here, right? And, also contrary to a widely spread misconception:

a) there isn't really an Olympus or a Pantheon where the high and mighty - or just celebs for no good reason - hang around, never casting as much as a single glance towards the foggy netherland of ordinary, plebeian internet users;

b) there CAN be such a thing as a "free lunch". Perhaps not an epicurean banquet with seven courses, not counting the stuffed camel, but certainly very, VERY healthy and nutritious. ;)


You can send your questions in any European language.
True, we will only understand some of them; and we'll be able to reply in even fewer of them... :)

But it's not a gimmick.

We know that people express themselves much better when they write in their "first" language. so, even if we aren't able to reply in your chosen language, the question itself may be more transparent (not to mention more comfortable) if you are writing in your own language.

Needless to say, we don't mind AT ALL if you do write in English, regardless of your mother tongue.

(And BTW, we are hoping to be able to offer language-specific advice to Japanese-writing visitors, too. But only time will tell. We are not quite there yet. One of us Myosotis girls grew up in Japan - but that was kinda... long ago. ;))


And regarding the offer: the first question for free, the second one you decide, etc... We are very excited about this approach. We like it - and we think, certainly hope, you'll like it, too. Especially after you've gotten an answer from us.
But we just have to let you know, as friends to a friend: we really are smart cookies, just like you - AND well-trained, too. We know all the tricks in the bag. ;)
Of course we won't be sending the police after you for asking more than one question in disguise (like, using different email addresses - oh yeah, we can tell! :), perish the thought!... But it's really not good "karma".
Generosity requires a simple thank you for its reward.
Abusing it never leads to any lasting good.

And by the way: if you really NEED advice and you REALLY cannot afford to pay for it... say so.

Ask.

After all, surely there were occasions when you too have been really, REALLY generous with your time and knowledge - free of charge. Right...?


Good.
So that's that.

Looking forward to hearing from you!



P.S.
Have your sense of humour ready. You might need it. ;)


* When we say connoisseurship, we mean connoisseurship: we know a thing or two about art & stuff. It does NOT mean that we are going to offer profound or authoritative opinions on authorship, or even authenticity, of artworks - certainly not for 50$. ;)